I went in for my first real session today at 7:30pm...I spent the day trying to minimize the amount of physical activity I did so I would have some energy. Screw the stairs, elevator all the way. I also drank lots of water to attempt to hydrate. I'll save you the suspense, this would result in me sweating profusely but little else.
7:25pm: I get there and meet my trainer, Mike. He is a little ginger dude who looks kind of like a shredded out leprechaun. He shakes my hand extremely firmly and lets me know that one of the lovely ladies (my words not his) from my intro session will be joining me.
7:26pm: I say hi to Christy. I then proceed to pray that she remembers my name.
7:26:05pm: "Hi John, how are you?"...she remembered. Score.
7:27pm: Mike tells us that we will be going through the standard warm-up and cool down, and then we will do a WOD (workout of the day). I let myself relax a little bit, after all, this is just a warm-up.
7:29pm: He tells us to first go over and do 1000 meters on the rowing machine. This is not very far.
7:32pm: Mike compliments my form and exclaims "this is great, I get to work with athletes today!" Ego expanding...I'm a boss.
7:33pm: I finish my 1000 meters and unhook my feet from the rowing machine. Christy is still rowing.
7:35pm: Mike calls time and we move on to the next thing. Squats. Shit.
7:36pm: Mike instructs us to go grab some bands to put around our shins. Not knowing any better I grab a black band (the one with the least tension as I would soon realize) and confidently put it on my legs. Mike then asks us to do 30 squats.
7:37pm: I begin and quickly realize it will be a struggle to keep my knees out. Mike is not shy about informing me of this fact. Loudly.
7:39pm: Christy is doing the squats perfectly. I have a quick flashback to my first CrossFit experience with my sister. Never again I tell myself.
7:40pm: I battle and battle to keep my knees out but it seems like no matter what I do my damn knees just go in.
7:40:15pm: Mike suggests that next time I use a blue band instead since it will offer less resistance. I believe this was the point when my man point count dipped below zero and got into the negatives.
7:41pm: Mike compliments Christy on her impeccable form and yells at me to keep my knees out. "Your butt's gonna be sore tonight" he bellows.
7:41:05pm: "I hope I never hear another dude tell me that again" I responded under my breath. Christy giggles to herself. Mike is not amused. Worth it.
7:42pm: After squats we move to a really easy shoulder exercise that me and Christy both dominate. Mike is impressed by this.
7:44pm: Mike says we will be cooling down. We grab those white noodle type things and stretch out. I chat with Christy for a bit and find out that she played field hockey at U of M and has been doing CrossFit type stuff for the last 5 years. I feel slightly better about myself.
7:50pm: After stretching for a bit, Mike informs us that we were going to do the "WOD" which is 20 seconds of as many squats as you can do, 10 seconds of rest, 20 seconds of squats, 10 seconds of rest, so on and so forth for 4 minutes. My legs are already wobbly but I decide I have to sack up.
7:51pm: We began and Mike commets that my form is much improved with the band off. I make no outward acknowledgment of this but inside I am thrilled.
7:51:20pm: The timer goes off and we take a quick rest.
7:51:30pm: Break over...like that Mike is screaming for us to go again. We both do pretty well for the next 3 or 4 sets.
7:53pm: As my muscles get more and more tired, my knees began to go in again. Believe it or not, Mike took notice of this fact just about right away. "John, I can tell you're getting tired, your knees are going in again". Well shit.
7:54pm: I try as hard as I can to push my knees out and do slightly better, but not great. Meanwhile Christy is cruising along at lightning speed, all the while being showered with compliments from Mike. He probably didn't have the inside scoop like me...she's got a boyfriend bro, cool your jets.
7:54pm: With one minute left Mike tells us to "empty our tanks, give me everything you've got." I oblige and go as hard as I can.
7:54:20pm: Mike informs us that our previous output was nowhere near good enough and that we need to go harder for the last round.
7:54:40pm: The buzzer sounds for us to start our last 20 seconds and Mike launches into a fit of screaming the likes of which I haven't heard since I was 12 years old and being berated by Mr. Lane at swim practice. Think Bobby Knight circa 1979, but coming from a little Irish dude.
7:55pm: I don't really remember how I made it through but I somehow finish and walk off under my own power. Pretty proud.
8:00pm: After stretching and chatting a bit more I go over to the front desk, pay an exorbitant amount of money to Mike for the honor and privilege of working out at CrossFit for another two months, and take off. I am signed up for Wednesday for my second session.
IMPRESSIONS:
Overall I think my biggest struggle with this is not going to be fitness as much as technique. Although I am by no means in awesome shape right, I can tell I will need to work really hard at improving my squat technique, and I don't expect it to come easily.
Another important factor is that I am currently and will probably continue to be much worse at CrossFit than my sister's boyfriend. For those of you who do not know him, he is a Frenchman, slight of build, very nice, but does not at first glance strike you as a high performance athlete (as I am sure I do...come on give me a break, I just got embarrassed by a ginger in front of a pretty girl...my ego needs some inflating). Throw into the mix that he is living with and dating the girl with whom I shared the womb for 9 months. I foresee a humbling experience on the horizon.
Alright, thanks for reading, I'll probably write again Wednesday, I know you are all probably waiting for that with bated breath.
I feel compelled to comment: keep up the good work!! Old "slight of build" is eager to hear statistics, as promised...
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